As someone who has been online dating for a number of years (for fun, entertainment, true dating interest and even scientific study), I have found reading profiles one of the most entertaining of all tasks. Yes, these are tasks, as in chores, not the adventure of discovery. I have found there are the same ‘ole, same ‘ole opening lines in just about each and every one that I read. Granted, there are some who have the knack for writing and therefore attempt to present the same material differently, but in the end, most profile opening lines are the same….for the most part.
The most common of all the same ‘ole, same ‘ole’s include:
· Well, a friend finally talked me into doing this…..
· I thought I would give this a try….
· Some friends of mine have actually found their spouse on this thing, so I am going to do it….
· I hate talking about myself, so here goes….
Literally, these are almost verbatim quotes that have been used so frequently, they have entered eminent domain. They have been used so frequently, I often wonder if there is some ledger of opening lines or suggested opening lines on some cheat sheet that no one has told me about. When I stumble upon such lines, my response is almost always the same- Roll my eyes and move onto the next profile. Geesh, is there no one creative? Or, worse, honest? Yawn!
Opening lines are often hard, that I give you. And, in writing your profile, starting the thing is like the 20,000 lb. phone. Ya just can’t pick it up. I get that. Trust me! So, what are you to do? Let me make this easy for you. The first thing you need to do, and yes, I said the word “need,” is to open a Word document (or whatever you use for scripting letters, etc.). Open it and begin there, NOT in the Write About Yourself section of your profile. Give yourself space and time. I know you are all fired up with getting your profile “out there,” but this takes time. As much as getting ready to go out on a Saturday evening should take you more than ten minutes to prepare, you need to invest that same about of time in your profile.
Listen, quality people, the ones you are trying meet, they are reading your profile, ok? If you do not put any thought into it or if you just throw something up there, people will notice. It’s like in Marketing; we teach that it is often better to not advertise versus advertising incorrectly or inefficiently. That concept applies here more than anywhere. You are marketing yourself for a life partner, or so we/I hope. So, take the time and give yourself some latitude in tweaking your opening line to something catchy.
One thing I do, especially when writing in general, is to just start. No one says what you type first has to stay first, ok? So, start typing. You might find out that halfway down the page, your opening line just surfaces. And, there is this handy dandy trick when you use word of “cutting and pasting.” You can simply cut a catchy phrase out and paste it at the beginning of your profile.
So, hypothetically, you have done all this, right? And, you are still stuck. Gotcha. Here are some things you can do:
1. Go to an online site, such as Google. Search for catchy quotes that grab who you are. Some examples may include, searching for “quotes about having fun” or “quotes about life being an adventure.” Just try it and see what pops up. Make sure you include the originator of the quote, otherwise that is plagiarism.
2. Write a quippy phrase about your primary profile picture. If you have a picture of yourself on a beach, sipping a cooler, you could say, “What I wouldn’t give to be back there, right this second. I love the beach and am a true water baby….” There you go. You have an opening line. Catchy, creative, and ties directly into your overall profile theme.
3. Be direct/honest. (That does not mean wishy washy or weak in your statement). Come out and say what you are doing online. “I am here to find….” Or “I am looking for….”
4. Say who you are. “I have a great life! And, I am looking for someone to share it with!”
5. And, not to be removed from this idea of profile opening lines, let me give you my most recent opening line. It states, “As I am someone who has been single awhile now, I have come to believe dating is rather like gathering water in the palm of your hands.....while you are busy gathering droplets, the good stuff is slipping through your fingers. Serial dating, a growing phenomenon in the online world is more of a distraction than an opportunity to increase the odds of finding a mate, and its one thing I do not do.” To me, it is addressing an online issue that, I believe, we are all having to deal with. You would not believe how many people email me, just to say that I have this online dating thing nailed. (Funny they should say that, since I am STILL SINGLE!!!)
In the end, your opening line is there to grab someone's attention. Once you feel comfortable with it, post it. And, then go back...day in and day out... and review it. Do not feel afraid to change it, again and again. You WILL get it right, I promise!
Much Love,
Shawn
No comments:
Post a Comment