It's all Who Ya Know

It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small, small world.

The words have never rang as true as they do today, given the wonderful story I have to share with you all. Okay, some names, dates, events and sequences have been modified to protect the innocent. In doing so, some of the ‘not-so-innocent’ are also being protected. In reality, I feel like creating a website, www.badguysyouneedtoavoid.com. BUT, alas, I won’t do that. So, with a sigh and a flick of my hair, I move on.

As many of you know, I enjoy the process of discovery and the getting to know you (The King and I) process with dating. That, to me, is the scientific aspect of this and also behavioral study. Examining individuals and their backgrounds, looking for traits and indicative behaviors, even sensing subtle pauses or hesitations in speech can add worlds of insight into the unknown. But, man, there is nothing like having a gut feeling about someone and then finding direct, irrefutable proof that your “Picker” is spot on. That, my dearest of readers, is exactly what happened to me the other day.

So, a wonderful gentleman, okay, this really cool dude, gave me a nod. My initial thought was whether or not I could add another to the roster. I mean, really, isn’t my plate already full? Well, I wasn’t so keen on this roster and was thinking I should probably just chuck it altogether, but no, I will ride this train to the final depot; however I was kinda bored with the existing list, right? And, the leader of the roster was giving me issues. He was unavailable and detached at times (and then intensely engaged the next moment), and I just had this…..feeling? This gut sense that sumptin just wasn’t right. And, if you recall previous posts, that gut is ALWAYS right, right?  So, okay. Let’s focus on him for a second.

Looking at education, profession, writing style, articulation and verbiage use, oh, and then pictures, I soon realized, “Hm. Nice. Maybe I should nod back,” so I did. Fast forward a couple of days and a few emails and texts later, and I was chatting up a storm with a promising connection, named Larry. (So much for Mr. Detached, right?)

As we often do, Larry and I played the “Who do you know” game, and we soon learned that we know many, many of the same people. (Yes, Larry is NOT his real name). We talked about our work histories and those with whom we have come into contact. We talked about our colleges and those with whom we have come into contact. We talked about our fitness regimen and those with whom we have come into contact. We talked about our neighborhoods and those with whom we have come into contact….. And, then….. Ohhhh, and then… He says to me, “Yeah, I am surprised at how many people live around me who travel over an hour and a half to work. You would think they would live closer, and these are professionals too, like executives, attorneys, doctors, bank executives. It makes no sense.” (Titles are changed to protect the innocent).

“Bank executives? Did you say bank executives?”

“Oh, yeah. There are several who live in my area.”

“Wow. That is interesting, Larry. I have dated a bank executive or two in the last few months, actually.”

“Well, as long as your bank executive’s name isn’t John Doe, you should be fine! LOL”

Wait a second. Did Larry just say John Doe? Nooooo….. As Larry continued to chat, I sat there dumbfounded. Larry stopped talking. He asked if I was okay. I came to.

“Larry, did you say John Doe?”

“Oh, no. Don’t tell me you know him.”

“John Doe? The bank Executive? Lives in XYZ City?”

“Yep. Married to Jane Doe, a loving and devoted wife. Two little girls. Hmmm…. Those girls must be 17 and 20 by now? Yes, he has a reputation for being a player.”

“STILL married? Did you say he is still married? With two little girls?”

“Oh, Shawn, are you telling me that you know him?”

“John Doe who plays cello? John Doe who is a triathlete?” (Yes, details changed).

“The one and the same.”

“You know, Larry, THIS is why women are jaded. This is it. Luckily, I have only had a lunch date with him and have only talked and texted with him, but this really makes me angry. This guy has cancelled and rescheduled on me multiple times. He rarely picks up his phone and it takes at least twenty plus minutes, actually up to a full day, to get him to respond to my texts. NO WONDER! He is married!”

Yes, folks, John Doe was, is, and forever shall be married. Needless to say, I did not talk with him again. My only communication with him was to text him “Shame, shame, shame on you” for all he has done. Although he has no idea what I am “shaming” him about, or maybe he does, I did not even feel the need to reach out to elaborate further.

What a sad, sad world we live in….. And, no, I am not saying all men are this way nor am I saying that only men do these things, but who can you trust? When someone (male or female) go to the lengths of placing a PUBLIC ad, with pictures, online, to add you to their Facebook, to openly meet and attempt to date you, with no fear of recrimination, what does that say about the state of ethical values and morality in our society?