A Dating Mishap

One of the funniest things happened to me on a date I had not so long ago. After a wonderful meeting over a cup of coffee, my newly made friend and I decided to part ways. Being a true gentleman, he walked me to my vehicle, a new, soft-top Jeep, with a self-start feature on the key. It made me feel cool to start my vehicle from across the parking lot. Thought I would show off a little.

So, with my car warming up, saying goodbyes, I opened my driver door and placed my keys in the ignition. As we chatted, unbeknownst to me, the driver door started to close….slowly….quietly…. Saying goodbye for the last time, I turned to open my car door and found it was locked. “Be cool, Shawn.” My date saw the totally uncool, cool look on my face. Being direct, “Yep. Door is locked, but no worries. Zip-off windows! Ah ha!” So, I unzipped my driver’s side back window, stuck my hand in and proceeded to pull on the door handle from the inside. CRAP! Child safety locks. I could not open the freakin’ door!

Looking at my date in terror, I said that there was only one way to do this, and no, he will not be privy to seeing it. I had to CRAWL into the back window, over a row bar and over the back seat, balance on the console and then hop into the front seat, thus opening the door. Did I mention that the space was a little over a foot wide and that I am almost six feet tall? Did I mention I was wearing a TIGHT skirt that hit me mid-thigh? Did I mention I was wearing four inch heels? Dear goodness, this is NOT going to be pretty.

So, I said, “Please go to your car.”

“But, what if you need help?”

“Trust me; I will call a tow truck before I let you witness this.”

He must have seen the fortified strength in my eyes, because he didn’t even argue. So, like a puppy with his tail between his legs, he went to his car and never looked back. I kicked off my shoes, hiked up my skirt and proceeded to crawl, feet first, into the teeny window. I fell (gracefully, I might add) into the second row seat, hitched my leg over the passenger seat, and pushed myself into the driver’s seat, butt-first. Phew, I made it.

I opened the door, took the keys out and kept them in my hand. I got out, hose-footed, and zipped the window back up. I grabbed my things that I had left on the ground and high-tailed it outta there. Within seconds, I received a text from my date that said, “THAT was hysterical” .

So, my dear readers, it appears that not only am I graceful and agile in the dating arena, I also have a backup plan to be a cat burglar should this psychology stuff not work out.