Helllooooo...... Where are you?

Hello there fellow online daters….  You would think by now I would have seen just about everything, and to be realistic, I pretty much have. I am rarely surprised about what I see and hear through online dating, but from time to time, I sit and just stare at my computer screen with my head cocked to the side- like a dog listening to a high-pitched whistle.  

“Why?” I mean, “Really, I want to know why?”  Why do individuals send an email, telling me or one of my clients how wonderful they are….how attractive they are….or how eloquently written their profile is…. Subsequently, we exchange an email or two and then extend our mutual phone numbers with the enticement of a phone interview… I mean, phone conversation…. However, the call never comes.  “Why?” Why did I give you my number and you give me yours, only to never hear back?

To this, I have no answers. My best guess includes the following options:

1.       The other party found someone hotter, better, richer, cuter, more willing to “do stuff.”

2.       Oopsey, we have another married one!

3.       Eh, it was only a game- just fishin’ to see if I could catch anything.

4.       Life was too busy, which is what prompted the other person to online dating to begin with. The reality is, he/she should never have started the venture to begin with.

5.       You thought about it and he came to the realization that I am just too much woman for him to handle, so he chickens out.

6.       Uh, Oh, I know… They are a twit, just out to waste my time?

At the end of the day, online dating- to me- is a game of odds. X-number of emails, equals X-number of calls, equals X-number of meetings, equals X-number of dates, equals ONE decent relationship. It’s a number’s game, and the “duh, I am not going to call” scenario is just one of those numbers.

Well, onto another one…and another….and another….

Much Love,

Shawn

A Surprising Text today

Dear readers... Today, I had someone send me a note, stating that they were, in fact, actually sick, which is why they cancelled their meeting with me. Furthermore, they felt that this posting is not true and that they no longer wanted to meet me.

Let me take a moment and explain to you all that this posting was not directed toward any one person, nor does it represent any one specific instance. This, in fact, was an example of similar situations I have been in multiple, multiple times before. I cannot count the number of last minute "I cant meet you because I am sick" texts, emails and voice mail messages I have received over the years. To me, it is unfortunate.

My post has one intention- to fortify and encourge those of us who have been "cancelled" upon. I want you all to realize that just becasue someone cancels on you does not mean you should sit at home and wait for the next person to call you. Do the opposite!

Go out! Have a great time! Enjoy some wine and good atmosphere! You never know. Your REAL MR/MRS Right may be sitting there doing the exact same thing, waiting on you to arrive!

Much love,
Shawn

Celebrate

Ok, let’s talk about excuses. First, I know some of you are nervous about that first meeting. However, if you follow my 20 minute meeting rule, the stress is much reduced. Ok, don’t listen to me. Do it your way. So, you are waiting for the appointed hour to meet you next heartthrob. Heck, most of the time, I am thrilled if I end up meeting the person I was originally destined to meet or at least one who looks close to the posted pictures.

Nerves are high and tension may be running. You constantly check your breath and check to see if you have a bat in your cave. Have you checked your teeth? Geesh, you did have broccoli for lunch! All joking aside, you are nervous. It stands to reason. So, thirty minutes before you leave, everything is ready to go, you get a text.

“I am sick. Been throwing up all day. Going to the doctor.”

So, what do you do? Become despondent? Send an email saying “If you have been throwing up all day, why couldn’t you have let me know two hours ago?” Or, do nothing?  Here is what I say! Go out; treat yourself to the best meal in the world. Enjoy a great glass of wine (if you so choose) and surround yourself with atmosphere.

At the end of the day, half of the excitement is getting out and doing new things and meeting new people. It is all about new experiences. Why deny yourself such a gift? You just avoided someone who would not treat you the way you should be treated.

Celebrate!

Much love,

Shawn