Mirror Image

Hello readers and Happy New Year (well, almost)....   I cannot tell you how many individuals have approached me and asked that I resume posting my online dating blog. Personally, I find some of these stories too far-fetched to believe, had they not happened to me directly. But, given the demand and the story requests at numerous parties and events, I will give you a taste of some prior events for the sake of entertainment.

Not all too many months ago, I had the fortunate experience to meet someone through a church-based networking event. I go to a mega-church in Alpharetta. He goes to my pastor's father's church in Atlanta. Similar beliefs, however he does tend to think MY church is a bit weak on the substance. (Cannot say I agree, but different strokes).

Yes, he was participating with an online dating site, so this story is applicable to this blog. He attended a related church as mine, and he was/is actively involved in some ministries related to that high profile church. I know this folks, is what I am trying to say. And, not just any Tom-Dick- or Harry is allowed to manage these groups. Overall, I thought I was dealing with a clean-cut guy.

So, after a while of chatting, he asked if I would be interested in a dinner date. Of course! And, within two days, he and I had a wonderful dinner at a local canteen in my part of town. It was a Friday, and the date was awesome. Both he and I looked forward to seeing each other again. He dropped me off at my house and said goodbye, without playing the Grabby-Grab game at the front door or without asking to come in to have “coffee” (with fingers in air quotation marks). I was truly impressed by the amount of respect he was showing me.

The following morning, at around 9 AM, my phone rang. It was him. Let’s give him a name, readers! Let’s call him....hmm...Rod. Yes, Rod. Let’s call him Rod. So, ‘Rod’ calls me the following morning. He apologizes for being so forward, but he had a fantastic time with me the night before. Furthermore, he says he knows I have plans that evening (Saturday, which I did). And, he admits he too has plans with another date that Saturday evening, but.... After meeting me, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would definitely like to see me again. And, he also admits that he knows his date Saturday will be highly disappointing, given he would only be wishing to be with me.  (I told you people I am awesome)....

Yes, I had plans that evening too, but I also wanted to see Rod again. Well, I did a no-no. I cancelled my plans and went out with Rod. We had a blast, yet again. We went to a great restaurant and ate sushi...and had some of the best wine....and laughed and laughed and talked and talked. It was fantastic! While driving home, we passed a Hooters and he tossed his head to the side and said, "Hey, wanna stop in Hooters for drink?" I chuckled. Funny guy. Hooters.... Anyway, we travelled to my house where I invited him in afterwards. We sat and talked until the early morning. Rod wrapped up his night with our first, gentle kiss goodbye and left.  I was thinking that Rod was a great guy. Date two and I didn't have to defend myself against attack. Things were looking up in my dating world.

The following morning, Rod met me for church (mine), and while we waited for the service to begin, Rod told me he had called his mother that morning and talked for a full hour discussing me and the possibilities for our future together. Although I attempted to remain neutral, that little smile inside me was beaming. After service, we went for a quick brunch and then returned back to my house, where he and I did some yard work together at my house. (I had planned on yard work after church and Rod volunteered to help out to maximize the time we spent together that weekend). What an awesome guy!

We came back into the house to get some water and Rod casually mentioned there was something he wanted to bounce off me. I sat down, as did he. He proceeded to tell me that he was three years divorced (which I knew). And, he proceeded to remind me of a story he had told me the evening before. In this story, he said that after his divorce, he went through a mid-life crisis and dated a much younger woman. Well, that 'much younger woman' was actually a Hooter’s waitress who was 23. Rod was 48.

“Well,” he said, “You know how I said that it was 'after my divorce?' I wasn’t being 100% forthright with you, but I wasn't lying, ok? Yes, it was after I divorced, but it wasn’t immediately after I divorced. It was three months ago. [He chuckled.] Wait, no, we did not start dating three months ago. We broke up three moths ago. We dated for nine months altogether, three of which we lived together. You also need to know she is my best friend. I talk to her once or twice a day and we text throughout the day every day. Now Shawn, wait, I see the look in your eyes. I haven’t had sex with her in four weeks and even then, I knew it was only physical. She is just a friend and she will always be my friend. Now that you are in the picture, I won't be sleeping with her any more, ok? We will continue to talk and text, but I doubt we will spend too much time together any more. She is going to hit the roof when she finds out that I have a girlfriend. [Again, he is laughing to himself.]

I know her, Shawn... and fully expect her to send me pictures of herself- if you get my drift- but I don't want you to feel intimidated by that. I will delete them. She is just trying to make me miss her, and she is a bit jealous. You have to realize, you are the one for me. My mom told me so. She said that you are age appropriate, and that you are welcome in her house. I mean, I tried to bring 'Susan' to a family dinner and my mom told me to get that "whore" out of her house, and if I ever brought her back over, she would throw ME out of the house too! [More self-laughter.] You will be welcome and will make my mom really happy.

So, are you okay with this? You understand, right?”

Dear readers.... Dear, dear readers.... Here is what went through my head. What 48 year old in his right mind would date a 23 year? Other than the obvious, what could they possibly have in common? And, didn’t he just tell me that her parents were in their mid-40, younger than him? What in God’s green earth could possibly be okay about this situation? And, she is STILL his best friend? What could he be getting out of a relationship like that? I mean, think about your best friend. What do you go to them for? Advice? Support? Solace? Accountability? And, this is who HE goes to for these things? And I am supposed to be ‘understanding’ of this?

Better yet, I am 'age-appropriate?' Mom will like me? So, this is all about image?

I only had two short words for him. “Get out.” Get out of my house. Get out of my life. Get out of my head. GET OUT.